there are two sides to every story

I have had so many people ask me how Kevin and I met or how it is possible that I moved on from my ex, Brian, so quickly. I want to provide this blog post to answer questions that some of you have asked and some of you have wondered and not asked.  I also just want to document the beginning of Kevin and my love story, from both of our perspectives! I asked Kevin to write his feelings on how we met and I wrote mine.  I feel this entry will be very special to me in the days, months, years to come!

Lora's Story

Brian and I broke up after several months of our relationship being rocky.  It was not so mutual at first and I thought my heart was broken. However, now I can look back on the experience and know that every month, day, hour, minute toward the end of my relationship with him was preparing me for the end of that season in my life. We broke up while I was caring for my grandmother who was having health problems and the day that I was set to begin spending the night with her in the hospital. 

Caring for her helped me to not be by myself, and allowed just enough distraction, but also just enough alone time to help me process how I felt about Brian and I ending our relationship after 4 and a half years.

A few weeks passed by and I began to think.  I am a single 25-year-old girl who doesn’t drink, doesn’t party, and doesn’t go out much. How in the world am I going to meet a guy?! I wanted so desperately to find someone of substance who would love God, love me, and accept the fact that I live much like a 90-year-old woman and spend time with 90-year-old women daily. I thought about meeting guys at church, but just how do you strike up a conversation?  What would that look like? Would anyone approach me?

Quite frankly, I was lonely. I felt like I had lost myself completely in the four and a half years I spent with a man who probably didn’t treat me exactly the way I should be treated.  So, I joined a dating website. I honestly expected nothing to come of it. I messaged back and forth with people for a week or two with very few “potential candidates”—I’m sort of picky (as I feel I should be).  I think that my break up allowed me for the first time in my life to really truly know exactly what I wanted in a mate.  When you date in college or high school you only pray your lives will mesh together after you graduate. For Brian and I, that wasn’t the case.  So now, in my somewhat settled post-graduate state—I had an opportunity to be picky. 

So, it all started with a message-a VERY simple message!  “How are you?” he asked.  I remember staring at the blank message box thinking, “Just exactly how do I respond to that?” Looking back I wish I had access to the messages we sent back and forth into the wee hours of the morning, because I’m really not sure what I said.  I remember being sick as a dog. I remember talking about very serious things, cutting straight to the nitty gritty and remember feeling so comfortable with it (something I don’t feel with very many people). I learned his name was Kevin, I learned we had a mutual friend, someone I went to high school with, I remember that making me feel more comfortable to pursue a friendship away from the computer, I remember not being terrified to give him my number. I remember the butterflies and the extreme nervousness that I felt while waiting for him to respond.  I remember the HOURS that we poured into our first evening talking. I remember learning he worked at Target less than 2 miles away from my home. I remember wondering, “Just how many times has this precious man rang up my groceries and unnecessary purchases at Target while potentially judging me??”

I spoke with Kevin about his dissatisfaction in his work at target but remember how positive he was that there was something more for him in the Raleigh/Durham, NC area.  I remember how much he didn’t want to go back home to Charlotte, NC to live with his parents...he wanted a career!

And as I said before, I remember being SICK!  I knew Kevin was at Target, working as a cashier and I desperately needed cold medicine.  I remember thinking “Do you really think he will recognize me OR find me attractive?”  I remember thinking “Should I really go through his check out lane there are plenty more open.  I remember thinking “Here goes nothing” and then he talked to me.  He asked me how I was feeling.  He acted like he cared.  I saw his little grey hairs and his beautiful eyes. He was precious!

I came home and just thought about how all of the conversation that Kevin and I had portrayed a man that had every value that I appreciate and respect and consider important in my own life. I remember thinking that he could be saying things that he knew I wanted to hear, but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, I am fairly innocent.  So, I asked if he wanted to catch a dinner and movie later that night. The entire time expressing to Kevin that I probably wasn’t too ready for a serious relationship just weeks after ending the relationship I had with Brian.  We all know how that worked out…

We went to Panera and to the movies. It was lovely. I picked the movie and he didn’t complain (and said he liked it when it was over)!! He looked into my eyes and I felt comfortable looking into his when we spoke to each other. He respected me. He asked good questions. He expressed so much love for his family and his desire for his own. He talked about his love for the Lord and his desire to be stronger in his faith. He talked about his being picky with women and his respect for my being picky with men. He just made me feel so appreciated and wanted.  He actually WANTED to hang out with me so much that he invited me to his apartment to meet his roommate and play cards!  On the day I met him! So, I went! I knew it wasn't really the safest choice, but you only live once!  My little not so adventurous self decided it was time for an adventure (Little did I know it was the very beginning of a wonderful adventure)! I kicked his butt at Uno and he did, and still to this day, kicks my butt in Rummy. I quickly learned that everything that Kevin had said to me was true, he really was the man he was telling me he was!!

I remember leaving his apartment wondering if there was any possibility that he truly felt the same way for me as I did for him? Little did I know that it would turn into what it has. I know that God provided Kevin to show me that there is a man for me who treats me right, respects me, loves me, and eats my cooking (and gets seconds).  And for that I’m so thankful.  I have truly spent the last three and a half months falling more in love everyday with my best friend and the best boyfriend in the entire world.  

Kevin's Story

Well, after being on the dating site for a little while, I have had 3 different people that I had gone on a few dates with. But nothing really stuck. The last person that I went on a few dates with I ended and swore to myself I would take a break from the dating sites and just enjoy being myself for a little bit. I felt that there was too much pressure I was putting on myself. And I was successful, I spent a few weeks away just enjoying my time and during that time I decided to make the Lord a more significant piece in my life.

Then, one fateful Thursday evening, I decided that the time was right for me to sign on to OKCupid for the first time in a hot minute, and within 10 minutes, I saw the profile of a person that really caught my eye. Her profile name was lix87, and she had the most gorgeous pictures I had ever seen. So in the most interesting, unique way I could do it, the great opening message read…”How are you?”

From there, I knew that I lost it. I felt like an idiot sending a message that just says how are you. In my mind, I thought, well there is no way she responds too me. So, I went off to listen to music and surf the web. Much to my surprise, about 10 or so minutes after sending the vanilla message, I received a message back from lix87.

And after that, a conversation had begun. It started on OKCupid, just the typical get to know you type stuff. But one hour let to another, the conversation moved over to Facebook, and continued on. I remember the enjoyment I had talking to her, as it made my frustration of my Wolfpack getting demolished by the Blue Devils much more bearable. It was a bit challenging to have the conversation as she was such an intimidating figure at first. I was just a pathetic cashier at Target who was living paycheck to paycheck trying to do what he could to stay in the Triangle area. She seemed to have her life together, something that I seeked in my life.

The conversation continued into the middle of the night. And somehow, I managed to get her phone number. Then at 2:30am, we began a phone conversation.

The next day…

The conversation began relatively early…how early you ask? Right as I woke up. I had a interview that morning at Target. Lora provided me with great words of encouragement throughout the day, as I prepared. And little did I know, that after my interview, Lora would show up.

I remember it like it was just a few hours ago. I was feeling okay after a good interview…as good as one can with an interview at Target for a managing position. And I was behind the counter of a Target cash register. It was a slow Friday afternoon from what I remembered. But then I saw her. She was waiting in my line. My heart sunk, I was so nervous, but was trying so hard not to show that. As I could tell, she was just as nervous. She came through buying some more cold medicine, she was sick that day.

I was so happy to get to meet her, everything seemed to be going so fast, but I was so happy to get to meet her. I really enjoyed talking to her for about 10 hours the day before. But while I was happy, I was still nervous. I am not the most attractive looking man in the world, and well I just hope she liked me.

So I had to wait a little bit until break, to see if she liked me or if I scared her away. And much to my happiness, she said something to the extent of, “Do you want to hangout tonight?”

While it was just a relatively benign comment, I was so happy. I think I said yes before I could even think. I didn’t know it was a date or not, but I didn’t care, I was ready for 6:30 to hit so I could go and spend time with her.

Once I left work, I got in contact with Lora. I wanted to make sure I had the plans down. We were going to the Southpoint mall. We started by eating dinner at Panera. I remember just having random conversation, but she was laughing a bit, so I obviously was doing something right. I didn’t eat much of my tomato soup and grilled cheese, I was too excited to eat. The conversation was just too rich.

After dinner, we went to see the Silver Linings Playbook. In all honesty, I did not know much about the movie…well, actually I had never heard of it. But I was so excited to hangout with Lora that I would have watched anything. I must admit too, from what I remember, I enjoyed that movie. But most of the time, I was thinking, should I hold her hand or not.

After the movie, I did not want the date to end. So I asked Lora if she wanted to continue hanging out. And she said yes. She said yes! We went to Wal Mart to buy some kitty litter and some uno cards. We came back to my apartment and played uno, I was not very good at uno, so she killed me at it. But then we played rummi, and well, lets just say, rummi is not Lora’s game.

Around midnight, she went back to her apartment, but the night was not over. When she got home, we continued to talk on facebook. And made plans to go to the dog park the next morning.

Something about those 2 days have changed my life so much. Thanks to Lora, I now work for a good company, made decent money, enough to stay in the Triangle area. I have also fallen madly in love with her, and I really believe that this is due to the fact that I opened myself up to the lord. I also now go to church every week, and just live a much happier life.