My Thoughts on Marriage Just 9 Months In

This week, I have been married for 9 months. Just a blip on the radar in this thing we call life. It has been the biggest and best adventure I have ever embarked on. Time has literally flown by. I am so happy that I can spend forever with my best friend. Please don't get me wrong, I'm no marriage expert, but I have learned a few things though in this short time.

People are Nosey
We got married on June 21, 2014 and on June 22nd the questions started flowing..."Are you going to quit your job??" "When are you going to have kids??" The first question was easy to answer, the second, not so much. Having a child is serious business. Something that will happen when we are ready, and God knows we're ready.  I trust Him with that, but I'm still praying daily for wisdom in how to answer these questions without sounding snotty or offended.  I suppose the questions come out of general concern for our well-being, right?

Give the Best Part of You to Your SPOUSE
We both work, and work hard. We come home, and as tempting as it is to sit on the couch and decompress it is so important that we take that time and spend it together. I'm not saying we have to go on a date every night, but the element of communication in a marriage is so worth it. Save a little energy....positive energy....for when you walk through the door.  A woman that I heard speak, Tara Furman, from "Knowing God Ministries" asked during an event, "Is your dog the first person who greets your husband when he gets home?" That really made me think. P.S. you should look up Tara's Facebook/Website--you will be blessed.

Being a Wife is Hard, but Rewarding, Work. 
Being a wife is Kingdom work.  Being an obedient, loving, kind, respectful, caring, wife is Kingdom work.  I strive for the Proverbs 31 standard daily.  I also fall short daily. There are definitely times that say rude things, but I've also learned to not be scared to say "I'm sorry!" Those are powerful words. When I took the vow of marriage, it was between me, Kevin, and GOD.  A reflection of the Holy Trinity.  This relationship is Holy, and hopefully a reflection of The One who created the two of us, and destined us to be together. I love thinking about that.

I Have to Stop Comparing Myself to Other Wives
Thankfully, Kevin makes being a wife an easy job. He tells me all the time how thankful he is, and that I'm doing a good job. Then why do I second guess myself?  Why do I put unnecessary pressure on myself to be like other women and lose sight of the fact that my husband loves and appreciates me just the way I am.  That's beautiful.

Ups and Downs are INEVITABLE 
Since Kevin and I got married a lot of things have happened to us personally, relationally, inside our home, and outside of our home.  We have really taken to heart a bible verse we studied in our premarital class at church.

5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 
Matthew 19:5-6 

In other translations the word united is written as cleave.  Biblically, cleave means to cling, or to stick like glue.  This is something we do not take lightly in our little household.  There are days that we have to close the door to the outside stuff and literally cling to each other. 

Premarital Counseling was Incredible and Worth Every Second

I hear a lot of people bash the idea of going through premarital counseling, but it was something that the pastor who performed our wedding ceremony required us to do.  I will say it was one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had. Let me tell you, as a young married, there are so many things that you have to agree on with your spouse and a lot of these things, you won't think of on your own.  The premarital counseling class that we took, put each of those topics on the table and gave us a starting point and questions to ask and answer. This not only, opened the doors of communication, but also increased our level of comfort with each other.  It also solidified the ideas that I had about how perfect we were together.  

I'm sure that as the years tick on and our lives pass by this list will grow and grow.  God has blessed us so much and I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to spend each day loving, supporting, and helping my husband. We definitely don't have it all together, but with each other, we feel like we have it all.  

Love you, friend! 

The cow says moo and gives us milk...

or so I thought. Now milk apparently comes from almonds!

I'm 27 years old and just found out that I have developed a dairy intolerance. My GI doctor says that this is a common thing to develop at any age. This doesn't really come as any surprise considering the months of GI issues and family history of lactose intolerance, but I didn't realize how HARD this would be. I find things especially difficult since my husband is practically made of cheese. We've sort of come to grips with the fact that we will likely be eating different things, and that's okay.

Here are some conclusions I have come to in the last week and my first week of dairy free eating:

1. It is really hard to not be a pest.

Most of you who know me, know that I pride myself on being a very easy going person. I enjoy going with the flow and being as little of a burden as possible. This past week I have had to tell a lot of people, "Please, no butter" or "please don't worry about me, I can bring food of my own." or "My husband loves cheese so he would probably love if you would just cook that for him." Currently, I am struggling with being a pest. Please don't take it personally when I can't eat your food. Please know that I am grateful for your generosity in cooking, I know it is not always an easy task. If you live out of town and I am coming to visit you, please don't feel like you have to go out and buy something special for me. If we are going out to eat together, please don't look at me as obnoxious when I ask the waiter for an allergen menu, or ask if there is dairy in the bread. I am doing these things, and asking these questions so I don't have a stomach ache, so that I don't have to suffer with the consequences. Believe me, dairy is delicious, and I would eat it if I could. Which leads me to my next point:

2. Eating out is going to be VERY difficult.
Kevin and I attempted to go out on a date on Friday night, and we went to a birthday party on Saturday night. I suppose gone are the day that I can order what looks absolutely delicious. Gone are the days that I can sort of fly by the seat of my pants and check out the menu for the first time as I sit down at the table. Gone are the days that I can eat with friends and not feel like I'm being completely obnoxious. Believe me, I know you have that friend that gets on your nerves with what you believe is their "fake gluten intolerance" or "fake dairy intolerance". I'm here to say that there is nothing fake about it. I'm not making up the fact that my tummy hurts, I wish I was.
3. Food is a sign of affection. 
People love to cook for you and feed you and make sure that you're comfortable, but please don't let it hurt your feelings if you bake me a cake, or cook me some mashed potatoes that I don't eat them. It hurts me and makes me feel rude just as much as it may hurt you. I'm sorry.
4. Unsweetened almond milk seriously tastes like liquid almonds...vanilla and chocolate are MUCH better. 
Yes, I believe that almond milk has become my calcium source of choice. After speaking with the doctor and a dietitian, I feel like I have made an informed decision that almond milk is what is best for me. Lactaid is chemically produced. Most people who have a dairy intolerance also don't do so well with soy. I'm also allergic to coconut. That pretty much leaves almond milk as my choice. It is definitely going to take some getting used to, but I'm doing it. My difficulty with dairy does not occur on the same day and my doctor advised me to try to stay away from Lactaid of any form and to avoid dairy entirely instead of just taking a Lactaid pill. which leads me to my next point:
5. Everyone else is different from me. 
What's best for me may not be what's best for you, or your sister, or grandma, or your child, or your neighbor. Each person with a dairy intolerance experiences something different. Sometimes dairy can cause people an unbelievable amount of diarrhea. Sometimes it's constipation. Sometimes it's bloating. Sometimes it's cramping. Sometimes it's a mixture or combination of all or some of these things. I'm not far enough into my dairy free journey to know if a little bit of milk will hurt me. Please be patient with me while I attempt to figure this out. All I know is that God made me special and just the way I am. I'm not asking for your acceptance, I don't need that. I'm asking for tolerance and patience.
6. I'm happy to live in America.
I'm happy to live in a place where I can go to the doctor and discuss personal issues and brainstorm solutions. I'm happy to live in a place where I have women on my medical team to make me     feel more at ease discussing these things. I'm thankful for the availability of medications like live, dairy free, probiotics. I'm so very thankful that I get to wake up each day and have the ability to go to my refrigerator and have access to foods that are safe for me. I'm thankful that I have been given a wonderful husband and family and friends to support me in this really weird new beginning.
7. The body is an incredible thing. 
I knew before that God doesn't make mistakes, but now I really know. It is incredible how your body can respond defensively to things that it knows it cannot handle. It is amazing that each body is different. It's amazing how quickly we can bounce back. I took away something that my body considers a toxin and I can feel as good as I do in only 4 days. It's incredible that each piece of me has a purpose and that should not be abused. Thanks God!
8. I feel SO much better! 
I'm no longer dealing with the anxiety of needing to use the restroom a bunch of times in the day. I'm no longer having to show up at work with a tummy ache while attempting to do my job the best can. I can now devote 100% of my attention on other things that are important to me. I'm living a much healthier (for me) lifestyle. I finally feel like I manage my day. All of this has happened in 7 days! 7 days ago I was terrified and worried, which can be debilitating.


And that's that. Please let me know if you have any tips on living dairy free or thoughts on the topic. Please know that I love all of you and hope that you can help me start (and continue) this new adventure.