I'm Back!

Well, I'm both saddened and pleased to tell you that I am back from my trip to Uganda! What a life changing experience it has been for me!  Upon my return I became pretty sick with some pretty nasty stuff (I won't share the details) but it involved a temperature of 102.3 and an inability to get out of the bed.  I was absolutely convinced that it was the end of my life-pretty bad stuff.  Anyway, with my sickness I returned to work having not really had time to process what exactly I witnessed in Uganda. I have been waking up early and spending my time in the morning mulling over just what I had seen, heard, and experienced there.  In the few short hours I have had to mull it over I have compiled the beginnings of a list of the things I learned from Uganda.  So, without further ado, here it is:


The things I have learned and processed about my time in Uganda in the last 7 days:

God is SO alive
During my time in Uganda, I can honestly say, I felt God's presence in the rooms, in the bus, in the weather, in the sky, in the boats, in the bathrooms, in the hotel...EVERYWHERE!  Something about it just made me feel as though we were constantly enveloped in God's goodness, and love! As a team we hit rough patches that were just covered in God's perfect grace.  There were so many times I was just brought to tears, for absolutely no reason, besides the fact that I just felt HIM! I can't really describe, or put it into words.

We talk too much
Ugandan people are really okay with silence, but that is where we, as Americans, feel uncomfortable.  We fill the silence with our words and it might not always be appropriate. For example, while there I learned that most Ugandan's don't talk over a meal. They eat, enjoy their meals, clear the table, and then they talk and fellowship with each other. Four of us were able to enjoy a traditional lunch in Mama Winnie's home and all of us were trying to talk and strike up conversation with the children and the mums.  We promptly realized that their answers, while polite and nice, were very short and it was right back to eating. We later asked why it was so quiet...and found out this "silence during meal time" norm.  From that point onward, I found myself enjoying the silence. Spending time in it and soaking it in.  You should try it sometime...it's pretty awkward at first, but it gets better.

They really love potatoes
I don't think I could eat another potato....seriously.  Potatoes for breakfast lunch and dinner in multiple different forms.  Irish potatoes, potato pie, fried potatoes, chips (or french fries), potato salads, etc.  You get the picture--much like Bubba Gump Shrimp company-but potatoes.

White Yolk-Yellow Yolk
On day one I was served an omelet that appeared to be made of egg whites. It was quite delicious. Day two or three I saw a salad at dinner with hard boiled eggs cut into fourths on top. The yolks--white. Very puzzled by this, and slightly creeped out, I did some researching and question asking of our host. Come to find out-chicken's yolk colors are based on their diets. In Uganda it has something to do with free chickens vs. exotic chickens. Google told me it has something to do with white corn vs. yellow corn. Still puzzling, but pretty cool.

I really like American breakfast
We had the luxury of eating breakfasts in our hotel restaurants. Most mornings I was very excited about breakfast and went downstairs to find out we had been served "sausage". This sausage was actually a hot dog.  This was typically served with baked beans and, you guessed it, POTATOES!  I typically just stuck with a slice of bread and this delicious plum jam they have in Uganda!  I also had the occasional white-yolk egg omelet too.  Breakfast of champions :)

Long calls, short calls, and stretching in the bush
These are all ways to express your need to use the restroom without actually saying you gotta go.  It also allows you to discuss how long said bathroom trip is going to be and how long your friends may have to wait for you.  It kind of comes in handy actually. If you'd like to know the meanings, please ask! :)

Don't worry, be happy
Most every ill mood can be cured by changing the lyrics to "don't worry, be happy" and applying them to your current situation. Our host, Rogers, did an excellent job at turning our very occasional frowns upside down with this little ditty.

You eat it, you love it, and you say thank you
This is something that we were taught early on in our trip.  Ugandan people love food, and love to feed others. Our lunches served on buffet were not self serve, and you get one of everything they have. Even if you are unsure what they put on your plate you are to eat it, love it, and say thank you, even if you didn't really love it.

You don't need money to be rich
The people of Uganda are not a very rich people in regards to money, but they have something so many American's do not--happiness and joy in all circumstances. They are rich with family, culture, and love. There is very little, that I could see, that could bring them down. Instead of complaining, they chose to praise God for their blessings.  I'm hoping to adopt this a little more in my life. I've seen a touch of it this week. Before I left for my trip I would complain when my alarm went off at 5:30am to get up to go to work. Now I am springing out of bed, praising God for another day of life and a job to wake up for.  It's the little things, people!

If it fits, it ships
If you can find a way to fit it, secure it, or balance it on a bike, boda boda, or a truck, you can drive with it down the street. See pictures:

Turn around, don't drown is not not a thing in Uganda
Large puddles, even ones with currents, covering the road so you cannot see the bottom are perfectly safe to drive through. It doesn't matter how deep it is, driving through WILL be attempted. No questions asked.

God is God, and I am me, and apart from Him I am nothing
I overcame so many fears on this trip. I was so nervous, so ill equipped, so unprepared for what we were doing, but the second I stopped to realize the He will complete my shortcomings, everything got so much better. I have never felt so close to God as I did while I was in Uganda. As said before, he is ALIVE and well there. BUT, there were so many times that I was so far out of my comfort zone, living in an uncomfortable place, that I allowed myself to truly feel what it's like to feel his comfort, presence and peace.

2 months and 2 days

I would be lying if I didn't say I was completely terrified for this trip to Uganda. God is really stretching me outside of my comfort zone. I know that it is all under his control and in His hand, but it doesn't stop the fear from creeping in. Multiple airplanes, foreign countries, being halfway around the world and being away from family and friends is not my idea of comfort. This stretching is helping me grow though, every day leading up to this trip has been a new battle of faith. I know that this is necessary to completely experience the freshness and newness of God.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand. Isaiah 41:10

When I first started preparing for this trip I kept hoping that God was kidding, that it was a joke and the laugh would be on me. I would find myself trying to talk God out of the idea just to find myself later that day in a situation of overwhelming peace with God. My prayer was, "Okay, God, if this is really your will, show me how you are going to make this happen." And boy did he show up!

The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?  Psalm 27:1

Here I am now, two months and two days until my trip, and my money has been raised because of the overwhelming generosity of friends and family and God's willingness to work in their hearts. The flights have been booked because God heard our prayers to lower the price to our budget. I have some new friends, because God put this team of women together and knew what we all needed. We have the money for a Ugandan BBQ as a special treat for the mum's we're going to serve. I will have accrued all the necessary time off from work I need.

Rise up, this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it."  Ezra 10:4

With the overwhelming fear I feel everyday, there is also overwhelming excitement. I'm excited to meet my sponsored child and hug her. I'm excited to spend time with other children of God and worship and fellowship with them. I'm excited for the new friends I know I will make. I'm excited to experience the life change. I am excited to learn from other Godly women.

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand will be my guide

where feet my fail and fear surrounds me

You've never failed and You won't start now

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

let me walk upon the waters

wherever You would call me t

take me deeper than my feet could ever wander 

and my faith will be made stronger

in the presence of my Savior.

If you're the praying type, please join me in prayer for our team, and the women we are going to serve. If you feel lead to pray for me specifically, it would be greatly appreciated.

Love, Lora

One Year Ago...

One year ago, on this day, my grandmother passed away. 365 days ago. After years of her brain being affected by Alzheimer's Disease, her body gave up the fight. In many ways, I hadn't had much of a connection to her for several years. She had forgotten my name, she had lost track of who I was, but she was always happy to see me. She always recognized me as a familiar person. If you have never experienced loving a person with Alzheimer's it is a very tough battle. It requires patience, perseverance, and a lot of love and forgiveness. It is scary and frequently frustrating. It takes a toll on close loved ones who want nothing but the best, but feel inadequate to provide it. My grandmother had Alzheimer's, but my grandmother was not Alzheimer's. There were years leading up to the diagnosis that my grandmother had a very sharp mind. In fact, I believe it was sharper than most. She had a knack for remembering little details, and telling stories. She was a great wife, sister, friend, daughter, mother, and grandmother. There have been many days since her passing that I feel her smiling down at me. There are little pieces of her around every corner of our home. Truth is, I learned a lot from that little lady. Here are some of the nuggets of wisdom I have gained.

• There is very little that chocolate cannot fix. 

My grandmother always had a smorgasbord of candy in her home. An entire candy buffet. There was never any reason to go without. If the last piece of your favorite candy was gone, there was always refills.

• Always look up.

One of my grandmother's favorite things to do was look at the clouds. Making shapes out of shapeless white wisps. Smiling up at the endless blue sky. This is a good lesson in more ways than one. Chin up, beautiful, God's got this.

• Family is everything.

No matter what, family is first. My grandmother spent years taking care of her mother who was also affected by Alzheimer's. She was an incredible wife, sister, mother, and grandmother. She took care of a lot of boo boos, emotional and physical. She raised my father to be the incredible man he is. She cherished every second of life with her husband and poured her heart and soul into her twins. Family is something you can't replace. Get together often, love them, forgive them, take care of them, cherish them.

• Celebrate the holidays to the maximum potential. 

Homemade Easter baskets, Christmas hams, fireworks, birthday cakes. Birthdays are not a holiday, but they sure felt like one in her home. My grandmother never let a holiday pass without decorations and celebrating.

• Creeper mouse isn't so creepy.

This is a weird one. My grandmother used to crawl her hands on me as a young child and recite a poem in a deep, gravely voice. She did it to all of us. It honestly scared me when I was young, but it always ended with a tickle. She "creeper moused" all young children.

These were the last words that I heard my grandmother say coherently. She recited the poem to my cousin's son. They were clear, crisp, and so full of feeling. Her mind gone and her body failing.

These words were recited at her funeral...I think of them often. 

"Creeper Mouse, Creeper Mouse, I'm going to Jesus' house."

• Be resilient.

My grandmother lived to be 94...she saw a LOT in her day. She dealt with the depression, development of technology, the death of her husband, and so much more. Each time she got knocked down, she got back up. Unscathed.

• Always be quiet, sit still, and listen in church.

Both of my parents were in the church choir. My mom singing and my dad directing. This left little bitty me in the care of my sweet grandmother during a long church service. Werther's Originals, gum, crayons, and a lot of pinching and elbows got me through an hour service week after week. I learned that being quiet in church is expected. Now that I'm an adult, I appreciate sitting still and listening a bit more.

• Building a sandwich is an art.

Grilled cheese, PB&J, and cold cut sandwiches were never made, they were built. My grandmother would always say, "I'm going to build you a sandwich." She made the best sandwiches. You could taste the love in every single bite.

• You can never have too many kitchen gadgets...

Boxes and boxes and boxes are still in my kitchen. After Kevin and I got married and moved into my grandmother's home there have been so many things of hers that have popped up. Cookie press, wisks, spoons, jar openers, egg beaters.

• or art supplies.

You never know when the art monster will strike. Crayons, canvas, paint, yarn, fabric, needles, paper...you MUST have it all. Creativity is something we were created for.

• Cookies are an adequate breakfast.

During times of track out, I would spend them with my grandma and grandpa. Their morning activity of choice: walking in the mall. After this, my grandmother would sit at a table with people of similar age and talk about current events, gossip, and complete the daily crossword puzzle in the paper while they guzzled free coffee and breakfast from the mall food court.  My breakfast-a cookie. Never failed. I guess I didn't qualify for the senior citizen discount at the Burger King. Cookies are better anyway.

• Appreciate dollar store barbies. 

Usually after this cookie breakfast of champions, I would get to go to the dollar store. I cannot tell you how many dollar store barbies I owned, but they were mine, they were from my grandmother, and they were AWESOME. 

I love you, Grandma. I hope that you are having the time of your life at Jesus' house. I miss you every day. I cannot thank you enough for teaching me, molding me, and making me a part of who I am today. You are precious. 

The Start of a New Journey

I shared in my last post that God said he had something for me right now.

By something I mean that He is sending me to:

UGANDA!!!

I would like to take a moment and share my story!

Uganda, and specifically Watoto have been in my heart for a long long time, but God never said: "Lora, it's your time to go."

A little history, I began sponsoring an orphan in the Bbira village of Watoto in Uganda in 2012. Her name is Sarah. I frequently receive letters updating me on her favorite activities and pieces of art she has made me. Here are some examples:

     

The Watoto childrens choir has visited our church a couple of times. The first time they came I was given the opportunity to meet the choir and serve them and their leaders dinner before their beautiful concert. 

     

Watoto is a Christian based organization that rescues endangered and orphaned women and children. Each woman is then partnered with no more than 8 children (some may be her own biological children) and the woman is put in a position to raise these children as her own. She is looked at as their mum! 

I've always wanted to go, I've dreamed of going, but it was never the right time...until now.

A few weeks ago (3/27/15) I was speaking to a new found friend of mine, Cary, about the mission work she is doing in Belize. Her team leaves on Saturday--please join me in praying for them! I felt my heart begin to stir. I went to our Global Hope website through my church (Hope Community Church in Raleigh, NC) and saw that one of the missions trips they are planning for this year is a women's trip to Uganda, Africa. Immediately, I knew I had to look into more about this trip. The rest of the evening as I tried to relax, my mind just kept coming back to thoughts of travelling to Watoto.

During my quiet time the next morning I wrote in my prayer journal: "Uganda?" I closed it after my time with God and waited for an answer.

A few days later on 3/31/15 I received an email. Some of you may know that Kevin and I work in the 3 year old preschool room each Sunday at church. We enjoy it and teach the preplanned lessons that are sent to us. I received this email with April lessons and the bible verse for the month was Matthew 28:19

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." 

I remember sitting and staring at the computer thinking....okay, well, that's my sign. Honestly, I tried to push it away for several days and I tried not to think about it. At that point it was revealed, "how can I teach this to a bunch of 3 year olds if I'm not willing to step out in faith and do it myself."

Then, this past weekend, was our trip to Charlotte.  You can read about that experience here. As I said before, God did have something bigger for me...he is pulling and tugging at my heart to go to Uganda!

The next day there was a prescheduled interest meeting at the church. After hearing what we would be doing my heart has sort have burst into flames over the work we will be doing there. The cost of the trip is a little daunting, but I will need to trust God with that detail. I believe as a woman we are supposed to support and foster other women in their journey.  Why do I believe that, well...it's simple. Titus 2: 3-5 says:

"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."

Women are to help other women as mentors, teachers, and friends. I learned during this meeting that this trip is specifically designed for about 15 women to go to Watoto to love on the mums of Watoto. To pamper them, disciple to them, love them, listen to them, help them, etc. 

Every day since the interest meeting I have woken up to feelings of "well, you don't have to go" and "it's really scary over there" and "that's a really long plane ride for someone who doesn't love to fly"--The truth is, I don't have to go, but I know that God is telling me to go, and can you imagine what I would miss out on if I didn't follow his calling in my life.  Truthfully I wake up with these feelings, and before I even arrive at work God happens in one way or another (music, phone cals or messages from friends, scripture, etc.) and reminds me that I am on the right track.  

This song has been on repeat in my life lately. When I heard it, it was one of those times I was pushing the idea of going as far away as I could. I have learned that this trip and this time I am able to spend has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with God and what He will do in the hearts of those of us who are lucky enough to be used and the hearts of those we are going to see. It's way beyond little old me. 

So, what can you do?? I can currently think of 4 things:

1) Pray!  

I am seeking prayer warriors to pray for me, my team, and the women we are going to disciple to. Pray for our safety, our fundraising, our trip, our friends, our families. Pray that the women we will meet will be blessed and touched by our meeting and becoming friends. We are sisters of the most Holy God...the distance of the globe does not touch that! Feel free to send me facebook messages, snail mail, text, phone calls. Anything to spur me on in this journey would be greatly appreciated more than you would ever know.

2) Donate! 

This trip will cost $2,880 including airfare, lodging, and food.  It will also cover one fun excursion on a Safari in the pearl of Africa. These funds need to be raised through fundraising prior to August, 2015.All donations are tax deductible. If you would like to send money for my trip you may send those donations or love letters to:

Lora Rogers 

P.O. Box 1264

Apex, NC 27502

You may also make a donation online here

Please make checks payable to "Hope Community Church" with Lora Rogers-Uganda Women's Trip October 2015 in the memo line

If you wish to send cash it needs to be in an envelope with Lora Rogers-Uganda Women's Trip October 2015 on the front of it. If you are using cash and would like your cash donation to be tax deductible please include your information (name, address, email) on the envelope as well.

In terms of these donations, I need to communicate that if more funds are raised than needed, the excessive funds will go to other members on my teams if needed or will be used for other mission endeavors (like supplies for our trip, other mission trips, etc.) at Global Hope's discretion. There will also be no refunds in the event that a participant can't go on a trip or the trip is cancelled. Funds may be held over for a rescheduled trip for up to a year.

3) Share!

If you feel led, please share my story. You never know who will have the desire to help!

4) Ask Questions! 

Please write letters to the PO box above, or send email to lorarogers14@gmail.com or comment if you have any questions.  I'd also love to hear stories about trips you've been on in the past or little words of encouragement!

Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done.
–Psalm 105:1 

For more information on Watoto you could visit their website here

For more information on Global Hope at Hope Community Church you could visit their website here

Love you and thank you so much for your help!

The Dreaded Question

Me and God had a heart to heart this past weekend. I'm so glad to have peace and understanding.

It seems lately, everywhere we go, Kevin and I are approached with the questions "so, when are you going to have kids".  The question can be phrased and come out in a lot of different ways. The initial feeling strikes me like a low blow to the stomach. I'm pretty sure I make an ugly face. Of course I want children, I love children and always have. Of course this is something Kevin and I have talked about, and happily are on the same page. I understand that this is a logical "next step" for a couple of young marrieds.  Each and every time this questions is asked of me, it lingers in my mind for hours, days, weeks. It is a question that has been asked of me since we got engaged. What offends me most is that this is the only question asked. I provide my response, and the conversation is typically over. No one asks about my job (which I love), my hobbies (which I love), where I grew up, what my parents or sisters, or nieces and nephews are like, my favorite TV shows, the book I'm reading...

For years I have struggled with thoughts of inadequacy, and insecurity. Let me tell you, my husband, quite opposite of me, is someone who is typically unphased by most things from other people. He is VERY good at living in his own little bubble and only inviting others in his bubble if it is someone he wants to have there. There are frequently days that I wish I could learn this skill, then realize it wasn't my skill to have. That's what makes him, him, and me, me.

This is where God stepped in. This past weekend, the question bomb was dropped. Kevin and I standing next to each other. Answering the same questions time after time after time. Going to sleep that night was difficult. I wondered, "why does it bother me so much?" "Why do I care?" "Why do other people want to be all up in our business?" Truthfully, I was angry. Those feelings of inadequacy started creeping in. My thoughts were set on repeat of not having an identity until I am a mother. No one cares about learning about me and what I'm doing with my life...they just want to know when I'm going to produce a Lora or Kevin Jr. I felt broken.

As I sat in the passenger seat of the car the next morning, it clicked. God tapped me on the shoulder and said "Little girl, you are worth more than that!" "Little girl, it doesn't matter what they think." "Little girl, I haven't messed up yet, trust me and my timing." "Little girl, I'll let you know when you're ready to begin the journey as a parent." "Little girl, you are okay and so happy with being a wife right now, enjoy it, because once a little one comes--it will never be just the two of you again." "Little girl, maybe I have something else I want you to do right now that you won't be able to do after kids come along." "Little girl, calm down, take a deep breath, I have plans for you."

Truthfully, I don't even know if I am going to struggle with infertility or miscarriages yet, but I can't imagine how heartbroken I would be if I did and was asked this question repetitively. I live in a state of heartbrokeness for my friends who struggle in this area. If the questioning bothers me so badly, I can't imagine how it feels to be living in the midst of that sort of struggle while dealing with the questions.

I suppose I wrote all of this to say:
1) If you are the question asker--maybe it would behoove you to stop asking and take some time to get to know the person you are asking, maybe they are waiting for a reason, maybe they are seriously hurting and broken from infertility or past miscarriages and just waiting for someone to talk to who seems like they halfway care. Maybe they want to enjoy life as a young married, after all, 90% of the people who ask the question and pester you to have kids probably wish they had waited a little longer anyway.
2) If you are the questions receiver-know that you are not alone. Know that God has a plan for you. Know that you are so loved.

My Thoughts on Marriage Just 9 Months In

This week, I have been married for 9 months. Just a blip on the radar in this thing we call life. It has been the biggest and best adventure I have ever embarked on. Time has literally flown by. I am so happy that I can spend forever with my best friend. Please don't get me wrong, I'm no marriage expert, but I have learned a few things though in this short time.

People are Nosey
We got married on June 21, 2014 and on June 22nd the questions started flowing..."Are you going to quit your job??" "When are you going to have kids??" The first question was easy to answer, the second, not so much. Having a child is serious business. Something that will happen when we are ready, and God knows we're ready.  I trust Him with that, but I'm still praying daily for wisdom in how to answer these questions without sounding snotty or offended.  I suppose the questions come out of general concern for our well-being, right?

Give the Best Part of You to Your SPOUSE
We both work, and work hard. We come home, and as tempting as it is to sit on the couch and decompress it is so important that we take that time and spend it together. I'm not saying we have to go on a date every night, but the element of communication in a marriage is so worth it. Save a little energy....positive energy....for when you walk through the door.  A woman that I heard speak, Tara Furman, from "Knowing God Ministries" asked during an event, "Is your dog the first person who greets your husband when he gets home?" That really made me think. P.S. you should look up Tara's Facebook/Website--you will be blessed.

Being a Wife is Hard, but Rewarding, Work. 
Being a wife is Kingdom work.  Being an obedient, loving, kind, respectful, caring, wife is Kingdom work.  I strive for the Proverbs 31 standard daily.  I also fall short daily. There are definitely times that say rude things, but I've also learned to not be scared to say "I'm sorry!" Those are powerful words. When I took the vow of marriage, it was between me, Kevin, and GOD.  A reflection of the Holy Trinity.  This relationship is Holy, and hopefully a reflection of The One who created the two of us, and destined us to be together. I love thinking about that.

I Have to Stop Comparing Myself to Other Wives
Thankfully, Kevin makes being a wife an easy job. He tells me all the time how thankful he is, and that I'm doing a good job. Then why do I second guess myself?  Why do I put unnecessary pressure on myself to be like other women and lose sight of the fact that my husband loves and appreciates me just the way I am.  That's beautiful.

Ups and Downs are INEVITABLE 
Since Kevin and I got married a lot of things have happened to us personally, relationally, inside our home, and outside of our home.  We have really taken to heart a bible verse we studied in our premarital class at church.

5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 
Matthew 19:5-6 

In other translations the word united is written as cleave.  Biblically, cleave means to cling, or to stick like glue.  This is something we do not take lightly in our little household.  There are days that we have to close the door to the outside stuff and literally cling to each other. 

Premarital Counseling was Incredible and Worth Every Second

I hear a lot of people bash the idea of going through premarital counseling, but it was something that the pastor who performed our wedding ceremony required us to do.  I will say it was one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had. Let me tell you, as a young married, there are so many things that you have to agree on with your spouse and a lot of these things, you won't think of on your own.  The premarital counseling class that we took, put each of those topics on the table and gave us a starting point and questions to ask and answer. This not only, opened the doors of communication, but also increased our level of comfort with each other.  It also solidified the ideas that I had about how perfect we were together.  

I'm sure that as the years tick on and our lives pass by this list will grow and grow.  God has blessed us so much and I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to spend each day loving, supporting, and helping my husband. We definitely don't have it all together, but with each other, we feel like we have it all.  

Love you, friend! 

The cow says moo and gives us milk...

or so I thought. Now milk apparently comes from almonds!

I'm 27 years old and just found out that I have developed a dairy intolerance. My GI doctor says that this is a common thing to develop at any age. This doesn't really come as any surprise considering the months of GI issues and family history of lactose intolerance, but I didn't realize how HARD this would be. I find things especially difficult since my husband is practically made of cheese. We've sort of come to grips with the fact that we will likely be eating different things, and that's okay.

Here are some conclusions I have come to in the last week and my first week of dairy free eating:

1. It is really hard to not be a pest.

Most of you who know me, know that I pride myself on being a very easy going person. I enjoy going with the flow and being as little of a burden as possible. This past week I have had to tell a lot of people, "Please, no butter" or "please don't worry about me, I can bring food of my own." or "My husband loves cheese so he would probably love if you would just cook that for him." Currently, I am struggling with being a pest. Please don't take it personally when I can't eat your food. Please know that I am grateful for your generosity in cooking, I know it is not always an easy task. If you live out of town and I am coming to visit you, please don't feel like you have to go out and buy something special for me. If we are going out to eat together, please don't look at me as obnoxious when I ask the waiter for an allergen menu, or ask if there is dairy in the bread. I am doing these things, and asking these questions so I don't have a stomach ache, so that I don't have to suffer with the consequences. Believe me, dairy is delicious, and I would eat it if I could. Which leads me to my next point:

2. Eating out is going to be VERY difficult.
Kevin and I attempted to go out on a date on Friday night, and we went to a birthday party on Saturday night. I suppose gone are the day that I can order what looks absolutely delicious. Gone are the days that I can sort of fly by the seat of my pants and check out the menu for the first time as I sit down at the table. Gone are the days that I can eat with friends and not feel like I'm being completely obnoxious. Believe me, I know you have that friend that gets on your nerves with what you believe is their "fake gluten intolerance" or "fake dairy intolerance". I'm here to say that there is nothing fake about it. I'm not making up the fact that my tummy hurts, I wish I was.
3. Food is a sign of affection. 
People love to cook for you and feed you and make sure that you're comfortable, but please don't let it hurt your feelings if you bake me a cake, or cook me some mashed potatoes that I don't eat them. It hurts me and makes me feel rude just as much as it may hurt you. I'm sorry.
4. Unsweetened almond milk seriously tastes like liquid almonds...vanilla and chocolate are MUCH better. 
Yes, I believe that almond milk has become my calcium source of choice. After speaking with the doctor and a dietitian, I feel like I have made an informed decision that almond milk is what is best for me. Lactaid is chemically produced. Most people who have a dairy intolerance also don't do so well with soy. I'm also allergic to coconut. That pretty much leaves almond milk as my choice. It is definitely going to take some getting used to, but I'm doing it. My difficulty with dairy does not occur on the same day and my doctor advised me to try to stay away from Lactaid of any form and to avoid dairy entirely instead of just taking a Lactaid pill. which leads me to my next point:
5. Everyone else is different from me. 
What's best for me may not be what's best for you, or your sister, or grandma, or your child, or your neighbor. Each person with a dairy intolerance experiences something different. Sometimes dairy can cause people an unbelievable amount of diarrhea. Sometimes it's constipation. Sometimes it's bloating. Sometimes it's cramping. Sometimes it's a mixture or combination of all or some of these things. I'm not far enough into my dairy free journey to know if a little bit of milk will hurt me. Please be patient with me while I attempt to figure this out. All I know is that God made me special and just the way I am. I'm not asking for your acceptance, I don't need that. I'm asking for tolerance and patience.
6. I'm happy to live in America.
I'm happy to live in a place where I can go to the doctor and discuss personal issues and brainstorm solutions. I'm happy to live in a place where I have women on my medical team to make me     feel more at ease discussing these things. I'm thankful for the availability of medications like live, dairy free, probiotics. I'm so very thankful that I get to wake up each day and have the ability to go to my refrigerator and have access to foods that are safe for me. I'm thankful that I have been given a wonderful husband and family and friends to support me in this really weird new beginning.
7. The body is an incredible thing. 
I knew before that God doesn't make mistakes, but now I really know. It is incredible how your body can respond defensively to things that it knows it cannot handle. It is amazing that each body is different. It's amazing how quickly we can bounce back. I took away something that my body considers a toxin and I can feel as good as I do in only 4 days. It's incredible that each piece of me has a purpose and that should not be abused. Thanks God!
8. I feel SO much better! 
I'm no longer dealing with the anxiety of needing to use the restroom a bunch of times in the day. I'm no longer having to show up at work with a tummy ache while attempting to do my job the best can. I can now devote 100% of my attention on other things that are important to me. I'm living a much healthier (for me) lifestyle. I finally feel like I manage my day. All of this has happened in 7 days! 7 days ago I was terrified and worried, which can be debilitating.


And that's that. Please let me know if you have any tips on living dairy free or thoughts on the topic. Please know that I love all of you and hope that you can help me start (and continue) this new adventure.